5th June 1944.
I see a main road which is very
crowded. Little donkeys, loaded with goods and chattels or with
people, are going one way. Other little donkeys are going the
opposite way. The people are spurring their mounts and those on foot
are walking fast because it is cold.
The air is clear and dry. The sky is
serene, but everywhere there is the sharp atmosphere common to winter
days. The barren country seems vaster, the short grass in the
pastures has been nipped by the winter winds; on the grazing ground,
the sheep are looking for some grass and they are also looking for
some sunshine, as the sun is rising very slowly. They are standing
very close together one against the other, because they also are
cold, and they bleat, lifting their heads and looking at the sun as
if they were saying: « Come quick because it is cold! » The ground
is undulating and its undulations are becoming clearer and clearer.
It is a real hilly place. There are valleys and slopes covered with
grass, and ridges. The road runs through the centre and goes
south-east.
Mary is on a little grey donkey. She is
all enveloped in a heavy mantle. In front of the saddle there is the
fitting already seen in Her journey to Hebron, and on it there is the
little trunk with the basic essential things.
Joseph is walking on the side holding
the reins. « Are you tired? » he asks Her now and again.
Mary looks at him smiling and replies:
« No, I am not. » The third time She adds: « You must be tired
walking. »
« Oh! Me! It's nothing for me. I was
only thinking that if I had found another donkey You would have been
more comfortable, and we could have travelled faster. But I just
could not find another one. Everybody needs a mount nowadays. But
take heart. We shall soon be in Bethlehem. Ephrathah is beyond that
mountain. »
They are both silent. The Virgin, when
She does not speak, seems to concentrate on internal prayer. She
smiles mildly at one of Her thoughts and if She looks at the crowd,
She does not seem to see it for what it is: a man, a woman, an old
man, a shepherd, a rich or a poor man, but only for what She sees.
« Are you cold? » asks Joseph when
the wind starts blowing.
« No, thank you. »
But Joseph is not too happy. He touches
Her feet, which are shod in sandals and are hanging down along the
side of the donkey and can hardly be seen coming out from under Her
long dress, and he must feel them cold, because he shakes his head
and takes a blanket which he has across his shoulders and envelops
Mary's legs in it and he spreads it also on Her lap, so that Her
hands may be kept warm, being covered by the blanket and Her mantle.
They meet a shepherd, who cuts across
the road with his herd, moving from the grazing ground on the
right-hand side of the road to the one of the left-hand side. Joseph
bends down to say something to him. The shepherd nods in assent.
Joseph takes the donkey and drags it behind the herd into the grazing
ground. The shepherd pulls a coarse bowl out of his knapsack, he
milks a big sheep with swollen udders and hands the bowl to Joseph
who offers it to Mary.
« May God bless you both » exclaims
Mary. « You for your love, and you for your kindness. I will pray
for you. »
« Are you coming from far? »
« From Nazareth » replies Joseph.
« And where are you going? »
« To Bethlehem. »
« A long journey for a woman in Her
state. Is She your wife? »
« Yes, She is. »
« Have you got a place where to go? »
« No, we haven't. »
« That's bad! Bethlehem is overcrowded
with people who have come from all over to register there, or are on
their way to register elsewhere. I don't know whether you will find
lodgings. Are you familiar with the place? »
« Not very. »
« Well… I will explain it to you…
for Her… (and he points to Mary). Find the hotel, but it will be
full. But I will tell you just the same, to guide you. It's in the
square, in the largest one. This main road will take you to it. You
can't miss it. There is a fountain in front of it, it is a long and
low building with a very big door. It will be full. But if you do not
find room in the hotel, or in any of the houses, go round to the back
of the hotel, towards the country. There are some stables in the
mountain, which are used sometimes by merchants to keep their animals
there, on their way to Jerusalem, when they don't find room in the
hotel. They are stables, you know, in the mountain: they are damp and
cold and there are no doors. But they are always a shelter, because
your wife She can't be left on the road. Perhaps you will find room
there and some hay to sleep on and for the donkey. And may God guide
you. »
« And may God give you joy » answers
Mary. Joseph instead replies: « Peace be with you. »
They take to the road again. A wider
valley can be seen from the crest they have climbed over. In the
valley, up and down the soft slopes surrounding it, there are many
houses. It is Bethlehem.
« Here we are in David's land, Mary.
Now You will be able to rest. You look so tired »
« No. I was thinking I think… »
Mary gets hold of Joseph's hand and says to him with a blissful
smile: « I really think that the time has come. »
« O Lord of mercy! What shall we do? »
« Don't be afraid, Joseph. Be steady.
See how calm I am? »
« But You must be suffering a lot. »
« Oh! No. I am full of joy. Such a
joy, so great, so beautiful, so uncontainable, that My heart is
thumping and thumping and it is whispering to Me: “He is coming! He
is coming!” It says so at each beat. It is My Child knocking at My
heart and saying: “Mother, I am here and I am coming to give You
the kiss of God.” Oh! What a joy, My dear Joseph! »
But Joseph is not joyful. He is
thinking of the urgent need to find a shelter and he quickens his
pace. He goes from door to door asking for a room. Nothing. They are
all full. They reach the hotel. Even the rustic porches surrounding
the large inner yard are full of campers.
Joseph leaves Mary on the donkey inside
the yard and he goes out looking in other houses. He comes back
thoroughly disheartened. He has not found anything. The fast winter
twilight is beginning to spread its shadows. Joseph implores the
hotel-keeper. He implores also some of the travellers. He points out
that they are all healthy men, that there is a woman about to give
birth to a child. He begs them to have mercy. Nothing.
There is a rich Pharisee who looks at
them with obvious contempt and when Mary goes near him, he steps
aside as if he had been approached by a leper. Joseph looks at him
and his face blushes with disdain. Mary lays Her hand on his wrist to
calm him and says: « Don't insist. Let us go. God will provide. »
They go out and they follow the wall of
the hotel. They turn into a little street which runs between the
hotel and some poor houses. They then turn behind the hotel. They
look for the stables. At last, here are some grottos, a kind of
cellars, I would say, rather than stables, because they are so low
and damp. The best have already been taken. Joseph is utterly
disheartened.
« Ehi! Galilean! » an old man shouts.
« Down there, at the end, under those ruins, there is a den. Perhaps
there is nobody in it yet. »
They hurry to the « den ». It is
really a den. Among the ruins of an old building there is a hole,
beyond which there is a grotto, an excavation in the mountain, rather
than a grotto. It seems to consist of the foundations of the old
building, with the roof formed by rubble supported by coarse tree
trunks.
There is hardly any light, and to see
better Joseph pulls out .tinder and flint and he lights a little lamp
that he takes out of the knapsack he is carrying across his
shoulders. He goes in and is greeted by a bellow. « Come in, Mary.
It is empty. There is only an ox. » Joseph smiles. « It's better
than nothing!… »
Mary dismounts from Her donkey and goes
in.
Joseph has hung the little lamp on a
nail of one of the supporting trunks. They see the vault covered with
cobwebs, the soil stamped ramshackle earth, with holes, rubbish,
excrement – the soil is strewn With straw. In the rear, an ox turns
its head round and looks with his large quiet eyes while some hay is
hanging from its lips. There is a rough seat and two big stones in a
comer near a loop-hole. The blackness in that comer is a clear sign
that a fire is generally lit there.
Mary, goes near the ox. She is cold.
She puts Her hands on its neck to feel its warmth. The ox bellows but
does not stir. It seems to understand. Also when Joseph pushes it
aside to take a large quantity of hay from the manger and make a bed
for Mary, the ox remains calm and quiet. The manger is a double one:
that is, there is one out of which the ox eats, and above it there is
a kind of a shelf, with some spare hay, which Joseph pulls down. The
ox makes room also for the little donkey that, tired and hungry as it
is, starts eating at once.
Joseph discovers also a battered
bucket, turned upside down. He goes out, because he saw a little
stream outside, and he comes back with some water for the little
donkey. He then takes possession of a bunch of twigs in a comer and
he tries to sweep the floor with it. He next spreads the hay and
makes a bed with it near the ox, in the most sheltered and dry comer.
But he realizes that the poor hay is damp, and he sighs. He then
lights a fire, and with the patience of Job, he dries the hay, a
handful at the time, holding it near the fire.
Mary is sitting on the stool, She is
tired, She watches and smiles. The hay is now ready. Mary sits down
more comfortably on the soft hay, with Her back leaning against one
of the tree trunks. Joseph completes… the furnishings hanging his
mantle as a curtain on the hole that serves as a door. It is a
makeshift protection. He then offers some bread and cheese to the
Virgin, and he gives Her some water out of a flask.
« Sleep now » he says. « I will, sit
up and watch that the fire does not go out. There is some wood
fortunately, let us hope that it will bum and last. Thus I will be
able to save the oil of the lamp. »
Mary lies down obediently. Joseph
covers Her with Her own mantle and with the blanket that She had
round Her feet earlier.
« But you… you will be cold. »
« No, Mary. I'll be near the fire. Try
and rest now. Things will be better tomorrow. »
Mary closes Her eyes without insisting.
Joseph creeps into his little comer, sits on the stool, with some dry
shoot near him. They are very few. I do not think they will last
long.
They are placed as follows: Mary is on
the right hand side, with Her back to the… door, half hidden by the
tree trunk and the ox which has lain down on the litter. Joseph is on
the left side, towards the door, and since he is facing the fire, his
back is turned towards Mary. But he turns round now and again to look
at Her, and he sees She is lying quietly, as if She were sleeping. He
breaks the little sticks as noiselessly as possible and throws them
one at a time on to the little fire, so that it may not go out and
may give some light and yet make the wood last longer. There is only
the dim light of the fire: at times bright at times very faint. The
lamp in fact has been put out and in the half light only the
whiteness of the ox and of Joseph's hands and face can be seen. All
the rest is a confused mass in the dull dim light.
--------------------
« There is no dictation » says Mary.
« The vision speaks by itself. It is for you to understand the
lesson of charity, humility and purity emanating from it. Rest. Rest
watching, as I used to keep watch waiting for Jesus. He will come to
bring you His peace.' »
No comments:
Post a Comment