Chapter 11. Mary Will Confide Her Vow to the Spouse God Will Give Her.
3rd September 1944.
What
a terrible night! It seemed that the demons were raiding the world.
Cannon shots, thunder and lightning, dangers, fears, the suffering
because I was lying on a bed which was not mine. And in the middle of
all this, there was Mary, like a sweet white flower amongst fire and
troubles. She looked a little older than in yesterday's vision, but
still a young girl with Her plaits of fair hair over Her shoulders.
Her dress was white and Her smile mild and coy: an intimate smile at
the glorious mystery enclosed in Her heart. I spent the night
comparing Her mild appearance with the ferocity of the world and
meditating on Her words of yesterday morning, a song of living
charity, as compared to the ferocious hatred of men...
This
morning, in the quiet of my room, I saw the following scene.
Mary
is still in the Temple. She is now coming out with other virgins from
the inner part of the Temple.
There
must have been a ceremony because there is the scent of incense in
the air of a red sunset. It must be late October, because the sky,
already serenely restful as is usual in clear October days, is
bending over the gardens of Jerusalem, where the yellow ochre leaves
about to fall add gold red spots to the silvery green of the
olive-trees.
The
crowd, nay the host of white dressed virgins, crosses the rear yard,
then climbs the steps, goes through a porch and enters another square
yard, not quite so splendid, without any other door except the one
leading into it. It must be the yard allocated to the small dwellings
of the virgins assigned to the Temple, because each girl moves
towards her cell, like a little dove to its nest. They look like a
flock of doves that separate after gathering together. They are all
speaking in low but joyful voices, before separating. Mary is silent.
Before leaving the other girls, She bids them goodbye affectionately
and then goes to Her little room in a comer on the right hand side.
One
of the teachers, an elderly lady, but not so old as Anna of Phanuel,
joins Her. « Mary, the High Priest wants to see You. »
Mary
looks at her somewhat surprised, but does not ask any question. She
only replies: « I will go at once. »
I
do not know whether the large hall, which She enters, is the house of
the High Priest or whether it is part of the dwellings of the women
assigned to the Temple. I know it is wide and bright, tastefully
arranged. In addition to the High Priest, a stately man in his robes,
there are also Zacharias and Anna of Phanuel.
Mary
bows down on the threshold and does not enter until the High Priest
says to Her: « Come in, Mary. Do not be afraid » Mary looks up
again and slowly moves forward, not because She is unwilling, but
because of a somewhat unintentional gravity, which makes Her look
more of a woman.
Anna
smiles at Her to encourage Her and Zacharias greets Her: « Peace to
you, cousin.»
The
High Priest observes Her very carefully and then he remarks to
Zacharias: « She is obviously of the stock of David and Aaron...»
«
My child, I am aware of Your grace and goodness, I know that every
day You are growing in grace and knowledge before God and men. I know
that the voice of God whispers His sweetest words to Your heart. I
know that You are the Flower of God's Temple and that a third Cherub
is before the Testimony since You were here. And I would like Your
perfume to continue to rise with the incense every day. But the Law
says differently. You are no longer a girl, but a woman. And every
woman must be a wife in Israel to bear a son to the Lord. You shall
follow the commandment of the Law. Do not be afraid, do not blush. I
am aware of Your royalty. The Law that prescribes that each man is to
be given a woman of his own stock will protect You. But even if that
were not the case, I would do so, so that Your magnificent blood
might not be corrupted. Don't You know anyone of Your stock, Mary,
who might be Your husband? »
Mary
lifts Her face full of blushes. Her eyes are shining with tears which
begin to appear and with a trembling voice She replies: « No,
nobody. »
«
It is not possible for Her to know anyone, because She came here in
Her childhood and David's race has been struck too severely and
scattered too widely to allow the various branches to gather like
foliage around the royal palm » says Zacharias.
«
We shall then leave the choice to God.»
The
tears that Mary had restrained so far, gush out and fall on Her
trembling mouth. She looks imploringly at Her teacher.
«
Mary has consecrated Herself to the Lord for His glory and for the
salvation of Israel. She was but a little child just learning to read
and write and She had already made Her vow... » says Anne, helping
Her.
«
Is that why You are crying then? Not because You wish to resist the
Law? »
«
Just for that... nothing else. I shall obey you, Priest of God.»
«
This confirms what I have always been told of You. How long have You
been consecrated to the Lord? »
«
I have always been, I think. I was not yet in this Temple, and I had
already given Myself to the Lord.»
«
But are You not the little one who came twelve years ago and asked me
to be allowed to enter? »
«
Well, then, how can You say that You already belonged to God then? »
«
If I look back, I find I was consecrated... I do not remember when I
was born, neither do I remember how I began to love My mother and to
say to My father: “Father, I am your daughter”... But I remember
that I gave My heart to God, although I do not know when it started.
Perhaps it was with the first kiss that I was able to give, with the
first word that I learned to say, with the first step that I took...
Yes, I think I find My first recollection of love with My first
steady step... My house... near the house there was a garden full of
flowers... and there was an orchard and some fields... and there was
a spring of water at the rear, under the hill, and the water gushed
out from a hollow rock that formed a grotto... it was full of long
and thin herbs that hung down forming small green waterfalls
everywhere and they seemed to be weeping because the thin little
leaves, that seemed an embroidery work, had tiny little drops of
water on them and when the drops fell they tinkled like little bells.
Also the spring seemed to be singing. And there were birds on the
olive and apple-trees above the spring and white doves used to come
and wash in the clear water of the fountain... I was no longer
thinking of all that, because I had put all My heart in God and, with
the exception of My father and mother, whom I loved in life and in
death, every other worldly thing had disappeared from My heart... But
you have made Me think of it... I must find when I gave Myself to
God... and the things of My first years come back to My mind... I
loved that grotto, because I heard a voice sweeter than the song of
the water and the warbling of the birds say to Me: “Come, My
Beloved.” I loved those herbs covered with tinkling and sparkling
diamond drops, because I could see in them the sign of My Lord and I
used to say to Myself: “O soul of Mine, see how great Your God is,
He Who made the cedars of Lebanon for the eagles, has also made these
little leaves that bend down under the weight of a little mosquito
and He made them for the joy of Your eyes and as a protection for
Your little feet.” I loved that silence of pure things: the light
breeze, the silvery water, the purity of the doves... I loved the
peace that hovered over the little grotto, and descended from the
apple and olive-trees, now full of blossoms, then laden with
beautiful fruit... And I do not know... the voice seemed to be saying
to Me, yes, just to Me: “Come, specious olive; come, sweet apple;
come, sealed spring; come, My dove...” Sweet is the love of a
father, sweet the love of a mother... sweet their voices calling
Me... but this, this one! Oh! in the earthly Paradise I think that
she, who became guilty, heard it thus, and I do not understand how
she could prefer a hiss to this voice of love, how she could desire
any other knowledge that was not God... With My lips which still
tasted of My mother's milk, but with My heart full of celestial
honey, I then said: “Here I am. I am coming. I am Yours. No one
will have My body but You, My Lord, neither will My soul have any
other love...” And while saying so, it seemed to Me that I was
saying over again things already said and that I was fulfilling a
rite already fulfilled, and the chosen Spouse was not a stranger to
Me, because I already knew His ardour and My sight had been formed at
His light and My capacity for loving had been fulfilled in His
embrace... When? I do not know. Beyond life, I would say, because I
feel I always had Him, and that He always had Me, and that I exist
because He wanted Me for the joy of His Spirit and Mine... Now I obey
you, o Priest. But please tell Me how I am to behave... I have
neither father nor mother. Please be My guide.»
«
God will give You Your husband and he will be a holy man, because You
have entrusted Yourself to God. You will tell him Your vow. »
«
And will he agree? »
«
I hope so. Pray, my child, that he may understand Your heart. Go now.
May God always accompany You.»
Mary
withdraws with Anna. Zacharias stays with the High Priest. The vision
ends thus.
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